The Garden Way: Cultivating Intentionality in a Fast-Paced World.

A Sense of Belonging

When I was a small child, my siblings and I walked to the small local library in town each week, with my mom pushing my youngest brother in the stroller. We were allowed to borrow as many books as we wanted, as long as we carried them home ourselves. Of course, the walk home often ended with my mom holding my brother and the carriage full of books. Later on, my mother subscribed to a children’s book club. We would get a box once a month, full of high-quality children’s books that became our home library. There is something special about having your very own books.

One of my favorite books was Frederick by Leo Lionni. It was a story about a community of mice that lived in a stone wall. They prepared for winter by storing nuts and seeds, gathering bedding, and building nesting areas in their burrows. All of them – except Frederick, who simply sat with his eyes closed while everyone else bustled around him. Once the colony moved into their winter burrows, the days grew dark and cold, and the snow began to fall. While they feasted on their stored food, Frederick shared what he had “collected” – the colors and scents of summer, stories of butterflies and rainbows and songbirds, tales of warmer nights and sunnier days. By being his authentic, poetic self, Frederick helped boost the happiness of his whole community. He belonged because he performed his sacred duty to the family as the storyteller.

Sacred Relationships

The ninth night of Yule is about developing a sense of belonging, playing our authentic part in a community, and building relationships with others based on the greater good of all. I subscribe to a homesteading magazine that had an article last month on the family economy, a term they used to describe how the combined well-being of a family impacts the well-being of the individual members, and is a holy part of familyhood. Similarly, my mother once advised me, as a new bride, to honor the marriage as if it were another member of the family.

I have written previously about how our extended family had a wave of influenza over the past few weeks. When I was sick, my husband made me food (which it took me days to eat), my youngest brought tea and toast, and my eldest fixed a broken shower handle. As my eldest and his wife succumbed, I offered to do more farm work so they could rest and recover. My middle son brought holiday leftovers to them, since they were unable to attend the large Christmas gathering, and I had cold medicines delivered to their doorstep. This weekend, when the heavy snow hit, my husband was feeling under the weather, so my eldest (now on the mend) plowed us out while my youngest shoveled, and I cleaned off the vehicles. There is no discussion – it’s just what families do. When one member is weak, the others use their strength to keep the family economy going. It all comes back around, in due time – and all are richer for it.

Farming communities are renowned for this sense of belonging. A few years ago, when a local farmer’s barn caught fire and burned to the ground, the whole community felt this devastating loss in their souls. Another farmer set up a GoFundMe page, and enough money was raised quickly to replace the family’s barn, tools, machinery, and livestock. On a smaller scale, one of our local churches sponsors a Mother’s Day plant sale, where gardeners dig up sections of their flower gardens’ bounty, and exchange them with one another and community members, donating the small cost of the sales to the church’s Christian education program. People gather over pots of peppermint, dahlias, rooted rose cuttings, and hostas, and the children who attend the Vacation Bible School program benefit.

Even if your family or church doesn’t function this way, you are likely still a part of a community where individual members step up to take up the slack when one member is struggling. This is not done out of a sense of obligation, but a sense of holy purpose, of sacred bonds, and of shared energy and spirit. If you don’t have a community like this, consider finding one – or forming one – this Yule season. Maybe you are just the spark that can ignite the flame of love where you live or work right now.

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