The Garden Way: Cultivating Intentionality in a Fast-Paced World.

Creativity and the Curse of Comparison

Growing up, I always thought that my mom’s creative genes skipped me and landed in my sister.

Mom knit, crocheted, and sewed. She made cute little cards with multiple layers of “pop-ups” for special occasions. She tole-painted cutting boards for all our homes. My Barbies sported handmade outfits. She even sewed not only the wedding gowns for my sister and me but also for my sisters-in-law – beaded, covered in toule, and smocked.

I can sew curtains or anything else that involves simple material and a straight line. I can embroider, knit, and crochet, and have made many sweaters and afghans over the years, but I get bored easily and find the projects painful toil. I can bake pies, but the crusts don’t look like those in a Martha Stewart magazine.

What I CAN do is create with words. I love writing – it flows easily, it makes me feel peaceful, and my words seem to resonate with others’ hearts. I can create in the kitchen and find it rewarding to use ingredients on hand in new ways. When the kids were little, and coupons were still a thing, I took it as a challenge to see how many items I could get for zero dollars and zero cents. I can plan a family vacation that includes low-cost and no-cost, memory-building activities that don’t break the bank.

Becoming Our Authentic Selves

My problem wasn’t a lack of creativity; it turns out, it was my negative comparison to others, and a lack of embracing my own authenticity. Authentic living allows you to shed what’s not yours, tend what is, and expand into areas that nourish body, soul, and spirit. Yule, Night 8 invites us to do all of these things. What does Yule ask us to do to become true to our inner selves?

• Steer your life with intention. Take the driver’s seat. Choose a path aligned with what calls you. And don’t be influenced by what others do or say about what’s “right.”
• Stand in your own independence. Build your own stability. Trust your own rhythms without needing the validation of others. Remember, you are enough, and you have enough. You are a sovereign gardener, tending your own garden.
• Break away from old structures and inherited expectations. You don’t have to continue to be the family caretaker. It’s okay if you are single and love being so (despite what that judgy auntie thinks). Your legacy doesn’t have to be a trust fund. You will leave a bigger impact on the world by being who you are, as you want to be.
• Redefine “fulfillment.” Is your dream not turning out as “dreamy” as you thought? You can change it. You don’t have to define happiness by what you build, or earn, or produce. No matter how “good” others think something is, if it doesn’t nourish you, feel free to release it. By doing these “prunings,” you make room for the things that truly fill you.

The Yule story is one about self-direction, self-sufficiency, breaking generational patterns, and redefining fulfillment on your own terms.

Reflections for Night 8 of Yule

Here are some reflective prompts to help you redefine your authentic self this Yule season:

• Where am I more self-sufficient than I once thought I was?
• In what parts of my life do I move at my own pace, and not that of others? How do I feel when I move like this?
• What parts of my life have supported and nourished me during the hard times? What parts drained me?
• Where have I depended on external validation in my life? What would happen if I lived without worrying about the opinions of others?
• Where have I created beauty, stability and meaning, even during the dark times?
• Where do I allow myself to receive? Where could I receive more?

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